Second chance for the Carling Cup side, eh?

With only 14 players available for tomorrow's FA Cup fixture, we're down to our carling cup squad. Now, more than ever, do we need to really get behind the team. See you all at Nevada's.
Chew on these:
Arsene Wenger interview
Martin Keown interview

Report: New Contract Might Give Fabregas Control of the Aquitaine.

Though Arsene Wenger has  not confirmed the report, it has recently been admitted that Cesc Fabregas, standout midfielder at the London club Arsenal, has been  offered 33 million pounds, the title of Duke, and the precious Aquitaine, an area on land long coveted by French and English Lords for centuries, so that he will remain at Arsenal. With his contract negotiation looming, many have asked the question of where Arsenal found the right to bestow this sovereign territory on he twenty year old Spaniard.

An anonymous source inside the club who goes only by the name "Canterbury" claims:

So that, as clear as is the summer's sun.

King Penin's title and Hugh Capet's claim,

King Lewis his satisfaction, all appear

To hold in right and title of the female:

So do the kings of France unto this day:

Howbeit they would hold up this Salique law

To bar your highness claiming from the female,

And rather choose to hide them in a net

Than amply to imbar their crooked titles

Usurp'd from you and your progenitors.

Though the BBC can make neither heads or tales of this arguement, the English FA has been happy to acknowledge that Lord Elect Fabregas be granted the "Mastery of All He Surveys" in the "New World" and "Any Thing Else He Fancies" as long as he keeps kicking an inflated ball in God's Country rather than Spain.

The sudden addition of the Aquitaine, though not approved by France, could lead to a profound shift in power from the EU to The People's Republic of Cesc Fabregas (Fabregascar some call it). Especially after spanish super club Sevilla offered Frank Lampard Greenland if he could just keep kicking toward the opponent's end of the field.

Though feudalism is dead and this seems a massive amount to offer any single man, Arsenal has assured the press that the move is covered in precedent, citing that Barcelona has granted control of the Southern Hemisphere to joint consuls Samuel Eto'o and Lionel Messi, Real Madrid has named Ruud van Nistelrooy "Pope of Everything", and Manchester United midfielder Ronaldo actualy owns the Moon and "pretty much everything beyond" according to Sir Alex Ferguson "just as long as he keeps diving in the box".

Fellow, less handsome, Arsenal midfielders Alexander Hleb and Mathieu Flamini are apparently allowed to leave their dungeons once a fortnight, given a crust of moldy bread, and are set to be buried alive with Fabregas in order to serve him in the afterlife under their current contracts.

When reached for comment Fabregas claimed "We will do our best to allow the commons every opportunity to improve and thrive upon our land of Fabregascar as per the grace of God"

On a side note, France has no say in the matter as, according to UN Secretary Kofi Annan, "they are constantly bitching and moaning about everyone else, and then only supplying the world with a steady export of bitching and moaning. So screw'em!".

Arsenal in NYC!

I love blogging about my wild times at Nevadas, but this is a noble cause. Granted I doubt we can have any say in the foreign round's location, but don't you want to try anyway? In the post below, I concocted the idea for a petition of Arsenal Fans in NYC to show that our city is the place for the Gunners next year if this foreign round malarky happens. If you are a Gooner in Exile, pledge your support by leaving a comment whilst I figure out how to make an internet petition. Meanwhile, I'll drum up some support from across the pond in an effort to make this memorable.  

Please write in for no other reason than I totally want to get Wenger out for a shot and a brew after the game. Its a dream.

Why the "Foreign Round" is the Best Idea in History

Now far be it from me to go against Arseblog (the blog from whence we all came) but I can't imagine why more EPL could ever be a bad thing. Especially if that footy might be played in my City here in the United States of The Best Ever. I'd like to go step by step through some Pros and Cons to really flesh out this issue from an America perspective. While I agree that this is a "money making idea" as Arseblog says, I think there is alot positive in this plan. I chalk most of the general aversion to this plan to old world conservative ways. Also, we on the same side here. Here are my thoughts.

Cons

1. More injuries. A problem but hardly significant with all the damn games anyway.

2. Who plays Who. Trickiest problem but it could be solved by a pairing up 1 vs 20, 2 vs 19 from last year (factoring in relegation) or from a set part of the season. Better yet would be a 1 vs 2, 3 vs 4, etc. in order to ensure great games and have an important impact on the championship. Just a thought. What about a bowl system picked by the EPL? Think outside the box people.

3. New season length affects records. Many sports have coped with rule changes and cross era player and team comparisons. This is actually a pro because it leaves more open to debate and conjecture (half the fun of sports). If baseball can handle this, then a sport with almost no stats should be fine.

4. Man U gets even more international fans. What can you do?

5. The EPL players realize that the world outside of England has sunshine, attractive females and palatable food, so they disband and travel the world. 

6. Something actually changes in England. Ever. Will the Monarchy crumble?

Pros

1. 90 more minutes of the beautiful game. What could be better.

2. Finally I don't have to watch a match at a time when only ninjas and crystal meth dealers are awake. You Euros try it some time. It's easy to be a Gooner at Tea Time. 

3.  We have built a great fan base here in NYC.

a. We now out cheer the ManU fans in a ManU bar.

b. I get at least two cheers a day as I walk down the street in my Arse Scarf.

c. We are mostly young Americans. A native fan base of Gooners.

4. Tottenham discovers they have no fans outside of White Hart Lane

5. Expanded awareness of the EPL. Especially in America where sport is way of life. The grounds are fertile, and we could use all the inspiration for our young Team USA.

6. The NFL came to London, and it went great. The NFL is a damn smart organization. Any league should take cues from them. 

7. A chance to establish the EPL as THE soccer league in the world.

8. Again, more of what we love.

9. Most important, Jack gets a day off a Nevada's.

Yes, this is a way to get more billions for so that players can sit in ridiculous future-sideline chairs, more overly dramatic music can be played, and prettier children can escort the players to the pitch, or whatever. But, if it makes more futbol happen, maybe near me, then let's do it.

Now my whole set of Pros is kinda based on Arsenal coming to NYC. This may not happen this year, but we can try to help. 

READ THIS NEW YORK ARSENAL FANS

I don't know how the EPL will plan this round (if it happens), but I think we should try to show the league how much we want Arsenal in NYC. This may not do the slightest good, but it'd sure be fun to try. I will start a website where you can pledge your support and I'll contact the EPL (who won't care), Arsenal and its American supporters groups. We have suffered long enough as Gooners in Exile. Unite and lets be heard! 

And then sometimes...this happens

The War is over folks. That's right, I was in a bar last nigh with Ward and others proudly sporting my Arsenal Scarf (1 part of my illustrious wardrobe) when the bartender told me as he refilled my Bass Ale that "Arsenal would never win the league". I jabbed back at this mad man about being top o' the league and all, but he gave me the glass-eyed look of a soul with no clue. It was then that I realized he was the pawn in a nefarious game masterminded by a United fan near the end of the bar. This masked "man" had, no doubt, offered several million pounds to the bartender for this blasphemous comment (overpaying as always United) but made himself known eventually. He turned out to be a good fellow named Milton who was sadly struck with "fair-weather sickness" and couldn't help supporting Manchester. 

Why would I tell this story? Because at one point in our banter he said the following phrase:

Arsenal is playing what I call "the beautiful game".

That's right. We are gorgeous! As if Old Red Nose had said it himself. We are playing sexy soccer that no one can deny. I pretty much declare this a victory over Evil and an admission of defeat from the 90 bigillion ManU "fans" around the world. Enough said.

Counter arguement? Screw U. It's my Blog.

Ta.

This Actually Happened

Here is a funny anecdote from the story of the 4-man amy:

Ward, longing for the better days of the Flying Dutchman RVP, decided to text Jakes one day. He intended to write "I miss Van Persie", but the cruel AI that runs his spell check sent off "I miss Van Persia" instead. A clever Jakes then replied "I miss Fabregascar"

I don't know where this island is, but I want to vacation there. Cause it's Fucking Dynamite.